The PitBulls of Democracy: The Feeding Frenzy Continues

   Silverwolf had grown tired of bashing the Stralasian Dollar, the currency of “Nazis with suntans” as those denizens of the “land down under” are sometimes referred to, and switched his operations to the Nicadian Dollar, the currency of a country which had,  by smashing seal-pups into a bloody mass in front of their mothers, and then skinning them alive and selling off the skins in order to strengthen that currency, insured its people’s prosperity.   A humane people, they used this wealth to provide health insurance for the citizenry, the socialized medicine of the “Socialists Up Over.” 

  So, growing wearing of getting his knee well up into the marriage prospects of the Nicadian Dollar bulls (is it named after their huge holdings of Nickel and Cadmium?), and tiring of their plangent cries at the removal of their financial testimonials, Silverwolf once again turned his “consciousness cerebellumsis” to the hearings being held by the PitBulls of Democracy on the machinations of the Backshooters of the Bill of Rights.  After relishing the Stampeding of Gonzo, it was exciting to see new meat being thrown to the (all of a sudden) guardians of Liberty, baited into a slathering frenzy by the fetid odor of fresh Fascist. Kinda like coming upon an old episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents, or The Twilight Zone that you’ve never seen (or forgotten since the last time you saw it you were nine years old).  So Silverwolf  kicked back with a cuppa industrial grade caffeinated beverage and caffeinated the old neuron nexus till the synapses were caracoling with each other like Mohammed Ali fighting himself, and watched this exceedingly important piece of American history: a feeding frenzy for Freedom.

     At least Gonzo had a fighting chance; after all he had been trained in this obfuscate-before-the-committee Art, whose practitioners have risen to new heights in the development of  their technique in recent decades, and Silverwolf even heard a  rumour that the Gonzo had had a wad of cannabis stuffed in his upper lip to give him Dutch courage in front of the committee.  But he is sceptical as to the veracity of this rumour, and views it as possible slanderous calumny.        However,  as the PitBulls of Democracy circled the new victim it was clear that this Consistory of the Constitution was in no laughing-boy mood.  And it was clear the new victim was a small dog, a polite dog, a clean well-groomed dog ……a Scottie.  This tiny Terrier with the cerebellum of a Chihuahua, was soon gudgeoned into some contradictory testimony.  It was pretty funny to hear the Scotties’ defences of his alleged violations of government laws forbidding the use of government property and funds to promote private partisan political ends, laws that form one of the cornerstones of the American constitutional Republic.  Then they got him two or three times when he started using the “must recuse myself under the Prez’s claim of exec privelege” cop-out on everything. They’d ask him two questions involving the White House so he could plausibly use the cop-out, but then ask him a question that involved matters and people obviously outside the White House or for his legal opinion on something and he’d whip his excuse out by rote. Then they’d point out that the question had nothing to do with the WhiteHouse, or merely called for his opinion on e-mails already in the public record and provided to the committee.  After consulting his counsel, he woke up enough to give an answer a couple of times.  “W. C. Fields” Spector even made him look infantile by dragging in Scottie’s parents, and asked him a series of questions in that cross-ammo fusilade style of his which made the Scottie look like a too-uxorious husband trying to becalm a shrewish wife. Just what the Backshooters of the Bill of Rights deserve. “Actionable lacunae in testimony”. The caloric blast of the public’s garlic breath in the face of the politicians has resulted in a calenture that has left the pitbulls slathering at the muzzle. Best news Silverwolf’s had since he heard war-criminal Nixon had phlebitis.



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